Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wedding, Marriage, Rape, Drinking. How Do These Go Together??

     Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Get Married...

    While reading Chapter 6 one of the things that stood out to me was the differences in marriage. One definition would be “Marriage is a union between a man and a woman.” Another definition is “ a more or less stable union, usually between two people, who may be but are not necessarily, co-residential, sexually involved with each other, and pro creative with each other. There are so many different views on what should and should not be allowed.  Many people go along with the idea of one woman and man being united and having kids with only each other while other women have sequential male partners with whom they bear children with. Other views can consist of a woman with a woman and a male with a male. Rules of exclusion and inclusion then come into play. The most popular rule of exclusion would be incest, sexual intercourse between kinship relations is prohibited. Although, cultures like Egypt are well know for brother, sister marriages. 
Exogamy is referring to marriage outside of a social group. In India marriage distance is a big ordeal in the North.  Here in America, we are happy to marry and have the option to live near or far from our family. Most American relationships are a two way street. The husband does not define how the marriage goes and big decisions like moving without the wife’s consent. 
Love marriage and arranged marriages, what a tough topic to think about. I was raised in the South so I immediately would go with love marriages. I love the fairy tale loves and hopeless romantic stories. I love for my prince charming to find me and rescue me. Not for my parents to find a man and say, “here is your prince!” I will go with the more romantic version. I have heard though of arranged marriages that ended in love. Many men and women who have arranged marriages have actually fallen in love with one another. Many times women in arranged marriages are treated better than the women who fall for the temporary, cheesy love story. My heart goes out to all those that live unhappy lives, especially the women that had fallen for a man but had to marry another for her family. How incredible the pain must be? The unbearable nights and holidays sitting beside a man that does not have your heart. I would have to be one of the rebels that runs away. I could not bear the heartache, I would have to be with my love. 

Wedding bells are ringing! Who is going to the chapel?? I love weddings so much!! The cake, punch, love in the air, decorations, bridesmaids, family. The whole celebration is so magical but magic takes money. Who pays for a big southern shindig like I am hoping for myself? In my microculture, the groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and the bride’s parents pay for the wedding ceremony. I will follow through with these traditions but I am hoping to contribute some myself and hope my groom will do the same. Wedding expenses can get way out of hand. From dresses, to cakes, to the food, a lot of money is required. Different cultures celebrate different ways but they all do make some type of celebration to make known and enjoy the commitment between two people. 
   Party All Night

    Moving on to social groups. College fraternities and sororities are certain groups that choose their member very selectively. They attend different, exclusive functions, while forming bonds and connections that could later help them down the road. Many terrible incidents happen in these tightly formed brother and sister hoods. One incident called the “train”. It takes place when a “party” girl is taken to a fraternity house and ends up passing out. A train of men then come along and have sex with her. Such situations are disquisting and shameful. The many girls that this happens to will lose a piece of themselves forever. 



   I'm Not Ashamed To Ask For Help

    Why would someone not take help when it is offered to them? The internet has become a popular way for individuals to create support systems and help each other out. Anthropologists, study these groups and why people become members. Alcoholic Anonymous is a perfect example. A report was done on Mexico City and the results showed that most of the participants were low-income, working class males. Most of them turn to this medicine because of their poverty level and the gender identity in Mexico. The success rate in Mexico is increasing and showing that member in Mexico city achieve a high sobriety rate. I hate that many Americans choose this type of mind numbness. Most people turn to alcohol because it is easier than to face their problems. Everyone has their battles but I am a firm believer in reaching out and getting help. 


1 comment:

  1. Ah, again. I find most of this to be adorable.

    That being said, you still managed to hit the highlights of the chapters.

    ReplyDelete